“Continue,” I prompt, pouring the freshly brewed coffee into my awaiting mug.
Joker walks in with his dark sweatpants on and no shirt. His hair is standing all over the place, and it’s the first time I’ve seen him with no top on. The scar that he has on his face is matched by the many he has carved into his chest and abs. The marbled glossy slits slash angrily over his beautifully muscled body. I don’t want to stare, so I focus on my coffee.
Ella sighs. “Let’s just say I didn’t want it with a biker.”
Joker laughs, filling a mug. “Would you rather it be me, baby?” He winks at her, and Ella ignores him.
Huh. I get the feeling she’s used to all the testosterone. She might just be fine with Frost.
“I would rather a guy from college, you know, someone who has a future, an actual career. Not someone who could quite possibly pull out my own demons.”
I clear my throat and take a seat beside her, not really feeling my bagel anymore. “You want the white picket fence, huh?”
Raze walks in, loose basketball shorts on and also shirtless. Sweat trails down his finely chiseled torso, over each muscle I have no doubt he just worked on. “Why are you talking about love, Ella? People don’t go to college to find love,” he says, taking out his shaker and protein powder.
“That’s true.” I point toward Raze.
Ella rolls her eyes at me. “You don’t get a vote when Raze is around.”
“Hey!” I whack her arm playfully. “I’m a strong, independent woman.” I look at Raze and his eyebrows rise, a smirk on his face. “Out here, I am. In there”—I point upstairs toward our bedroom—“I can be anything you want me to be.”
Ella’s hand whips up to her mouth, and Raze’s drops open slightly, just as Joker starts laughing hysterically.
“I’m not even sorry,” I mumble around my now unappealing piece of bagel.
“Okay, one!” Ella clears the air. “I’m not looking for love. Quite the opposite”—she looks to me—“if you know what I mean.” I grin proudly at her and then look to Raze, only to find him scowling at both of us. I think I like this new-found friendship that much more, because it winds Raze up like no other. “I’m just saying that Frost… is not the one I need.”
I need to talk with her, because if she’s a virgin, I’m going to get her to stay away from Frost—forever. Him and his blood fetish.
Raze steps into me as Ella slips out of the kitchen, and Raze gets a first-time look at her little shorts. “Ella!” he yells out just as she hits the stairs.
“What?” She turns to face him. Her face is a mixture of something between a kid who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar, and a teenager who just got caught trying to sneak out.
“The fuck are you wearing?”
I chuckle into my mug and turn back around to face Joker, who is also trying to contain his laughter. Just then, Angel comes through the open sliding doors in the living room. He nudges his head at us, wondering what the awkward silence is about. He pauses then looks over to Ella, drops his eyes to her shorts, and snorts, walking toward the pantry.
“Shorts, Raze. Shorts.”
“Those aren’t shorts.”
“What?” She looks down to the tiny piece of ripped denim and pulls on it. “Millie wears this kind of shorts too. Harass her, not me.”
“Her ass doesn’t hang out of them!” he yells, as she continues climbing the stairs.
“Well, actually”—I raise my finger—“it does. I just hide it from you until I’m out in public.” I smile sweetly at him, and he shakes his head, looks down to his hand in a threatening gesture, and then grins at me slyly.
I gulp. “I’m kidding.”
Angel starts spooning granola into his mouth. He’s wearing a white relaxed T-shirt and pajama bottoms. Hot pajama bottoms. I don’t think he has any tattoos either. None at all, which is interesting. Everything about Angel intrigues me.
“Beast is calling us out today, but I need someone to keep an eye on Millie.”
“I’ll do it!” Joker says.
Raze looks to Angel. “Then it’s you.”
“What?” Joker scoffs, and I try to butt in to remind my overly protective boyfriend why I don’t need a babysitter.
Boyfriend? Hmm… not sure how I feel about that label. Feels a little young.
“Why?” Joker presses.
“Because you were too quick to offer.” Raze looks at Angel. “You good?”
Angel nods, spoon in the midair. “Yeah, boss. I got your queen.” He winks at me before continuing to chow down on his breakfast. These boys need a real meal. Granola is not going to fuel their massive bodies.
“Um, do I get a say in this?” I ask from the barstool I still haven’t moved from.
“No,” Raze snaps at me, and then his face softens a tad as he walks toward me. He takes my hand and steps into my space, and I wrap my arms around his huge torso. “Sorry, baby, but no. You need protection, and I only trust my boys.”
I nod, looking up at him. “Okay.” I know when to push Raze and when not to. I know that when it comes to this side of life, I don’t want him to have to stress about my stupid safety. He has enough to deal with without me acting like a spoiled housewife.
Raze walks off to get ready for the day, and Joker follows his lead, leaving me and Angel alone in the kitchen.
“Sorry that you’re stuck with me,” I say with a God-honest apologetic smile.
He grins, placing his bowl into the sink and then turning back to me. “This?” He points between us. “This, I can work with. You got anything you wanna do today?”
Shaking my head, I smile. “Nothing in particular.”
He smirks. “Wanna get into some trouble?”
I perk up. “Always!”
OVER THE LAST TWO MONTHS, since Angel and I decided to ‘get into some trouble’ and go Lamborghini racing at one of the tracks in town, Raze and I have slipped into a comfortable routine. I go mostly everywhere with him, and everyone who is anyone knows my place.
Angel and I have grown closer over that length of time too, because when Raze is out doing his business, it’s Angel who has been watching over me. Not that I need watching, but apparently, Raze isn’t keen on taking my safety lightly. Shocker. He still hasn’t warmed up to Amy being pregnant. Pregnancy isn’t permanent, and soon enough, she’ll be having that baby. So the sooner he gets used to it, the better.
I’ve just finished my morning run, when I walk into the living room, my breath heavy—heavier than usual—and my skin slick with wetness. I step toward the fridge, take out a bottle of water, and twist it open just as Angel walks around the corner.
He nudges his head. “Anything planned for today?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. Raze is at the base for most of the day I think. I do need to go to the store though.”
Angel nods. “Yeah, I’ll go get ready and then we can head out.” He heads upstairs and I slip in and out of the shower, throwing on some casual clothes.
As I trot down the stairs two at a time, Angel is waiting at the bottom for me in jeans and a black tee. “You ready?” he asks, swinging the keys around on his finger.
“As I’ll ever be.” I grin, walking past him and out the front door.
“So hang on,” Angel says, pulling into the local grocery store. “Are you telling me that I didn’t give you the best orgasm you’ve ever had?”
His tone is playful, so I take it, shaking my head. “Sorry.”
“Man.” He looks down to the ground in shock before glancing back to me. “I’m honest to God hurt about that.” He isn’t. The smile tickling the sides of his mouth proves it.
Rolling my eyes, we step out of the Range Rover and begin walking toward the supermarket. Picking up a basket, I nudge my head at one of the flyers that’s plastered to the window. “So apparently, The Three Gee’s are performing this weekend.” I laugh, shoving Angel with my shoulder. “Sound like something we should go to?”
A hor
rified expression crosses his beautiful face. “The fuck is that?”
I smirk, looking back to the flyer. “It’s a band, silly.” My eyes drop down to the date and I narrow them. Recognition starts to seep into my mind, causing my hand to tremble, and I look to the side, counting the days.
“Angel?” I whisper.
“Yeah?” he answers, taking my hand and directing me inside.
“What’s the date?”
He yaps off the date and I swallow. Fear crawls up my spine.
“Millie!” Angel yells, as I dash forward and go down the aisle I’m looking for. Quickly pulling a box off the shelf, I swiftly dive down the chocolate aisle and stack some on top of the little package.
“Jesus, Millie.” He bends over, catching his breath. “What the fuck? Do you want me dead? Is that it?” He stands, rubbing his hands over his face. “It is, isn’t it? Shit.”
“Calm down,” I tell him. “I’m done shopping. Are you done? I want to go home.”
“You’re acting weird.” He narrows his eyes.
“Is that really out of the ordinary?” I ask.
“True.” He seems happy with my reply, so we make our way to the cashier. I look at her pleadingly, and she looks back to me like I’m crazy, and maybe I am. No, I definitely am. Her eyes drop down to the basket, and then she looks toward Angel and then back to me.
“Is a congratulations in order, or…?” She holds up the little box, and I close my eyes.
Bitch.
Angel sucks in a breath. “Oh, fuck.”
“FUCK!” I PACE IN FRONT of the sink as my ringtone blares in the distance. It’s not that far though. It’s only sitting on the bathroom sink, but it sounds like it’s light-years away, because all I can hear is the thudding of my heart.
“Millie?” Angel bangs on the door. “Open up, darlin’.”
“No,” I snap back to him, pulling the lid of the toilet seat down and plunking onto it.
“Millie? Look,” he begins, his voice vibrating against the heavy door. “I know you don’t know much about me, but….”
For this split second, I forget about the answer on the other end of that little white stick. Raze. Oh God. He would… oh God, what would he do if I was? He’s made it obvious where he stands. He’s made it clear, crystal, and here’s silly old me, forgetting to get another shot.
Angel continues, “I have… I know what you’re going through. Let’s just say that.”
How could he know what I’m going through? Does he have ovaries? Does he get periods? Or—fuck—miss them?
I pull in a deep breath, ignoring Angel’s pleas from the other side of the door, and look down at the window on the little white stick, where my future is about to change forever.
“Fuck!”
“Raze!”
Ignore her.
“Raze, please!”
I look into the rearview mirror to see Cassia tied and bound. The black streaks seeping down her cheeks and her pleading eyes blare at me from the back seat.
“Shut up, Cassia. The only fucking reason you’re still alive is because someone else wants you. That works for my benefit.”
“Bro?” Royal shuffles in the passenger seat, his mask covering his face. “She’s a little fucking fragile. Maybe we should just kill her.”
“No.” I shake my head, steering the wheel toward the dark and gloomy gravel road that leads down to the riverbed. “IRA want her, and she doesn’t deserve to get out as easy as a bullet.”
Royal laughs before looking back to the road. “True that, but I was thinking of something a little more… theatrical than a bullet.”
Pulling to a halt on the skirts of the riverbed, I get out of the driver’s side and walk toward the shiny black limo that is parked discretely to the side of the gravel cul-de-sac and under a tree. The back door opens and Benny steps out, cigar in his mouth, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
“She here?”
I nudge my thumb toward the van. “Yeah. First of all,” I say, leaning against his limo, “drugs, I don’t want my hand in it. At all. I don’t need it, and I can’t be fucked with it. But….”
“But?” Benny strings on, watching me with a smile. He knows I’m about to negotiate with him. After I had a talk with Beast, we both came to an agreement that would work in both our favors.
“But Beast and I have come to a conclusion. You get Vegas, but there is a cut, and there will be an IOU on this favor too, by the way.”
He takes a long pull of his cigar. “What kind of IOU?”
“One you will know about when I want you to know.” I place my fingers in my mouth and let out a whistle. Royal and Viking jump out of the van, opening up the back, pulling Cassia out and leading her toward us.
Benny opens the back door of the limo and shoves her inside. He turns to face me. “When you know what it is you want, you have my number.” Then he slides back into the car and they pull out onto the long gravel road.
I thought long and hard about what to do with Cassia. It would have been too easy to kill her. Would have satisfied me greatly, but again, too easy. So I sat on it until I spoke with Beast. We both agreed that having the IRA owe us a favor would work better for everyone, and having her useless ass cashed in for a favor seemed to satisfy me more.
I walk up the stairs that lead to my room, and fuck if I didn’t have enough energy to pound into Millie until next week. With my dick hard, I walk into our bedroom.
“Millie?” I call out, finding our bed still neatly made like it was this morning. I instantly know something isn’t right. If she were here, she would already be in bed, waiting for me. Turning around, I fly down the stairs and then walk to Angel’s room. With a heavy thud, I launch my foot through his wooden door, smashing it against the wall. Anger pumps through me, and I find his bed neatly made, the empty space just that—empty.
“Fuck!” I roar, and Joker slams open his door instantly, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
“The fuck?” he mutters, zoning in on where I am. “What’s going on?”
“Where the fuck”—I step up to Joker, my chest brushing against his until he steps backward and into his room—“are Angel and Millie?”
“Shit.” He fists his hair, pulling on it roughly and taking a seat on his bed. “I don’t fucking know, Raze. They weren’t here when I got back.” Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I dial Millie’s phone, only for it to go to voicemail. Pressing her number again, it reaches her voicemail again.
“Just chill. They might just be out.”
“Out?” I growl at Joker. “At midnight? Out where?” I stretch my arms wide.
He curses under his breath again. I can’t simmer down the anger bubbling under my skin. Walking out of Joker’s room, I step into Angel’s, which was Cassia’s room when she was here. Pausing in the middle of the space, I look around his bed, seeking any clues, before walking back up to my room, with Joker following closely behind me, shoving a shirt down over his head. Flicking the lights on, I turn my head, noticing the bathroom light’s on. Hurrying to the bathroom, I push open the door and continue to search for any clues on where the fuck they’ve gone. Joker has his phone in his hand and is hitting redial more times than I can count. Walking out of the bathroom after finding nothing, I move toward the closet, opening it wide to see everything on her side cleared out.
Confusion slams into my chest and I turn, smashing my fist into the drywall. “Fuck!”
Thinking over our last conversation, I have nothing. I don’t know why the fuck she would pack her shit and leave, or why Angel would fucking betray me. I’m guessing he’s with her, because why else would they both be gone and not answer their phones?
“Boss?” Joker eases, stepping toward me. “We’ll find them.”
I laugh, rubbing my forehead. “Yeah, we will.” I get to my feet and walk toward the bedside table, finding a note folded.
I turn to Joker just as I pick up the piece of paper. “She knows too much.”
Joke
r walks toward me, his head cocked. “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” I utter, bringing my eyes to his, “she knows too much.”
“Oh,” Joker says, eyes drifting over my shoulder. “Oh fuck.”
Looking down at the piece of paper, I inhale sharply.
I’m sorry, Raze. Please don’t look for me.
I’ll love you forever, but I understand you. I know you’re going to come for me, and that’s why I’m making sure you will never find me. Angel didn’t help. He’s at home with his daughter. It’s Saturday, or did you forget? Before you start spilling blood over nothing, this is all me. Please don’t look for me, but if you do, can you wait until after September 13th?
Always yours, Millie.
I step into the rundown apartment building and walk toward the man sitting at the reception reading his newspaper. Without looking up at me, he murmurs through a rough voice, “Rooms are $400 a month and rent is due on the first. Upon moving in, you need to give me the first month up front, plus a $200 deposit.”
“Uh,” I mumble, my eyes drifting to the side. “Yeah, okay.” Rummaging through my handbag, I give him my money. He takes it, counting it quickly and then placing it into his pocket. I had thrown away my phone and purchased a burner, saving what numbers I thought I should keep beforehand, because I need to let Melissa know I’m not dead this time, or I don’t think she’d be able to handle it. The man finally looks up at me from behind his glasses and from beneath his greasy dark hair. Flicking my new room key at me, he points up the old wooden stairs. “Last room on the right.”
Taking the key, I smile. “Thanks.” I pull my suitcase along with me as I begin to slowly walk up the steps. A fuzzy grey cat with one pearly eye and one brown sits at the top, watching as I haul ass.
“Hey,” I whisper to the cat, only for it to stare back at me. “Or not. Don’t even get a meow back?” Knew I was a dog person for a reason.